A little over two years ago, I made a decision that changed my life. It was my 40th birthday. I decided to give this art thing a go. No more excuses (and I had a long list of very good ones that had worked for over 20 years.)
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| This is the first picture I put on this blog. The paper from a 40th birthday present. |
As many of you know, I will be teaching at the CREATE mixed media retreat in the Chicago area this fall. This afternoon I was taking a look at the CREATE mixed media retreat website. I saw my picture there and thought, "I cannot believe I am really getting to do this!"
These two years have been wonderfully encouraging and I've had so many surprising successes along the way. But along with the creative highs, there have been some painful moments of rejection too. I still struggle regularly with so many creative cringes, wrong turns, humbling moments, and doubtful days when I eat too many cookies and wander in a forlorn funk. It can get downright ugly.
But overall, I am on the path I have longed for all my life. I was just too scared to get on it. I don't know what my future holds or if success will be a part of it. I also don't know if I will always have the opportunity to pursue this life. But I've decided...while I do, I will do it with all my might. For the first time in my life, what I want is not coming quickly or easily. I'm finally chasing a dream.
Here are some of the biggest things I've learned about dream chasing so far.
1) I Must Fight the Urge to Give Up EVERY SINGLE DAY
I used to think that people who talked about never giving up on their dreams were just lucky people. Now I know that all this talk about "never giving up" is a result of the constant temptation to do just that. Every day, I flirt with the idea of just giving up. On rough days, I fantasize about bagging up all my supplies and donating them. On really bad days, I dream about an enormous art bonfire on my parents' farm. See... I told you it was ugly.
2) Going After Your Dreams Will Put You Face to Face with Your Ugly Self
I hate to admit this, but earlier in my life I was quite critical. I didn't give much respect to vendors I saw at a craft show (unless I liked their stuff), artists that expressed themselves in unusual ways, or new artists who hadn't quite perfected their skills. Going after your dreams means exposing your most vulnerable self. I've never felt so humiliated, hurt, and embarrassed in my life. Seeing shoppers pick through and make rude comments about my wares at a craft show, not being selected for inclusion in a contest, and having to remind a gallery owner of my name (when my art is hanging on the wall), well...hello humble pie. This bit of knowledge leads to discovery number 3.
3) Being a Dream Chaser Makes You a Kinder Person
Now that I've had a taste of dream chasing, I have so much respect and flat-out love for the dreamers in this world. My heart has changed. I see those kooky mimes in a whole new light.
4) Dream Chasing Leads to More Dream Chasing
It's like riding a bicycle. Once you get the hang of it, you want to keep riding. You fall off the bike, get your skirt wound up in the chain, and flip over the handle bars every now and then. But the feel of wind in your hair brings you back.
How about you? Are you chasing a dream? What have you learned?
Marvelous post. All those things and more, yes I never understood people making rude comments to folks putting themselves out there. If the work doesn't resonate, just walk on, no need to be an $%#$% about it. Creative practice is practice and necessary almost like breathing.....No art bonfires please? xox
ReplyDeleteI promise I won't burn anything Corrine. Thanks so much for sharing my post. You sent some sweethearts my way!
DeleteWonderful post...something that warmed my heart this morning while the wind blows and the snow falls...and I struggle with uncertainty about my abilities. Thank you! ~ Peggy
ReplyDeletePeggy, thank you so much for giving me this virtual hug. Knowing that I'm not alone on this creative roller coaster makes the wild ride so much better!
DeleteCorrine sent me over--and I will be forever indebted to her for that kind referral. I now sit here, tears welled up in my eyes. Tears for you as I feel your pain, as I feel your pride. Tears for me because I am traveling the same artful path, likely years too late, but, still, I travel! Thank you for taking the time to share this insightful and inspirational post!
ReplyDeleteOh Kay! I wish I could give you a hug! Thank you so much for sharing your response to my post. Keep traveling... and it is NEVER NEVER NEVER too late!
DeleteWell said. Keep the channel open.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bryan!
DeleteWell said Jenny. I so love that you've worked thru #2 to #3. The harsh words and criticisms can really eat at you if you allow it to(been there,done that). What I have discovered, for myself anyway, is that the older I get and the more I put myself out there, the less fearful I become regardless of what anyone thinks. I'm learning to really be true to me and offer no excuses for it! Chasing dreams-it's a good thing:)XO
ReplyDeleteI think you are right. As we push ourselves, we realize we are tougher than we thought!
DeleteYES! Everything spot on! You said exactly what I've been thinking the last few months only better and in less words for more impact. :) Like Kay I wish I had started taking my creative side seriously earlier. I wish I had sat down with my grandmother and learned to sew as well- so many wishes. I am just beginning- my work is more decorative/personal but it's getting done and that's what matters! Jenny I love your blog and your work thank you for posting!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words Michelle! I think so many of us regret not starting sooner, but I like to think we approach our creative life with greater wisdom. All those years were years of exploring what NOT to do! Your work is wonderful and it doesn't matter why you do it or what you are doing. You are moving forward in it, and I think that is the most important thing. I don't know if what I am doing will ever make it big, but I want my kids to talk about their crazy artist mommy when I am gone. I can't tolerate the thought of them knowing that I gave up, you know?
DeleteI have learned that the best "revenge" is to live a life well-lived. It's quite liberating when all I need to focus on is become the best I can be.
ReplyDeleteI have learned that it's easier for critics to smear their negative opinions at those that are actually in the arena of life (aka artists that are actively pursuing, creating, failing, learning, growing...)
I have learned that when I muster up courage to live an inspired life & chase beauty like there's no tomorrow, this action will inspire others (I'm thinking about my kid as I type this).
And finally, I have learned to bake German chocolate cake late at night...this helps a lot!
p.s. you're awesome. you truly are. (hugs)
mmmm... cake is always good! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on dream chasing. I like what you say about inspiring others and I think it is so true, especially with our children. On days that I feel like quitting, I think about what message that might send to my kids (especially my daughter,) and I am renewed. She needs to know that dreams are worth all the struggle.
DeleteThank you so much for your words of encouragement. They mean the world to me!
Congratulations for all you have done! It is hard work... I continue on even though I have to go slower than I had planned... still working towards my dreams though, and being brave and gentle along the way. You are an inspiration!
ReplyDelete