This Old House

A while back, I said that my husband and I were kicking around the idea of trying to sell our house and move on up to something a little more swanky. Well... we're not. We are disappointed in our decision, but we know it is the right one. Ever have decisions like that? You want so badly to pick the ice cream with the whipped cream and the cherry on top. But you know it will just give you indigestion because you are lactose intolerant. So you pick the dairy free lime sorbet. Still good, but hard to get excited about.

In the end, we decided we valued freedom more. And we knew deep down that spending so much of our hard-earned savings would be painful once the shiny wore off. So, here we stay. And the goal now is not to get out of here, but to sell this place to ourselves. Look for things to love about it. Fix the things that we've been holding out to fix "when we get ready to sell."

The kids are thrilled. They like the squeaky stairs, the wonky windows that need to be replaced, and the fireplace with tacky brass trim. It is the only house they know and they don't mind. They are much more forgiving. 100% content. I have so much to learn from them.

Learning to be content can be a real struggle. Though I feel a sense of calm now that our decision has been made, I know my evil twin will rear her ugly head the next time I get a Crate and Barrel catalogue in the mail. But I think about all the time I have wasted sitting in the seat of envy, dreaming about living in such perfection. Next time, I think I'll just toss that catalogue into the recycling bin.

Because we are staying, we have the freedom to consider new opportunities, order pizza whenever we are feeling lazy, and splurge on a fabulous pair of shoes every now and then. Friends will enjoy visiting, for the really good ones will be happier when they see that their friends aren't too fancy. They can spill a little wine on our carpet, put their feet on the cushions, and even bring their dog along. We won't mind.

The decision-making process has been painful and soul-searching. But now that we are on the other side of it, we feel a sense of peace about it. We have also cleaned out all kinds of closets and junk piles. I feel a wonderful sense of redirection and commitment to a richer and more creative life. Here's to more with less.